Have you ever had an event and invited somebody you considered to be a friend? They did not show and you did not hear a word of apology from then. That is, until after a year, when they needed you to attend their own event. Did that make you angry? But of course. Because, like Jesus, you know that a real friend is not a commodity. You cannot wake up one day, feel in need of a friend and go out to purchase one.
Jesus had a bunch of disciples at the start of His ministry, seventy by some accounts. However, when the going got tough, a lot of them got going – away. That left Jesus with only twelve followers. And to be sure they wanted to befriend Him, he interrogated them. “Do you also want to go away?” Their spokesperson, aka, Peter, famously responded with: “Lord, to whom shall we go?
He wanted to be friends with Jesus and realized that a real friend is not a commodity. Friendship is not an on-and-off affair; here today, gone tomorrow. It is a lesson that social media is blurring for the world. Indeed, the very fact of needing to qualify friends is a result of social media. If you need to say someone is a real friend, does it not imply the existence of fake friends?
Social Media Friends May Not be Real
Those are mainly to be found on social media. With a click of your mouse, you can befriend anyone and anyone can befriend you. Until one day, you look at your friends’ list and wonder, “who are these people?” You don’t know them, not really. At best, they represent your RAC – rent a crowd. Fortunately, with a click of the same mouse, you can also unfriend them or unfollow them or whatever.
If anyone treats you like a rent-a-crowd, he is not your friend. That is because a friend knows that a real friend is not a commodity. He will not come to you only when he needs your presence or your presents. Such a person will take the time necessary to cultivate the relationship between him and you.
Friends Know That A Real Friend Is Not A Commodity
Unless a person treats you with respect, he is not truly your friend. And therefore, you need not lose sleep over losing him. He was never your friend anyway. The other day, I saw a sign on a Methodist church. It said, “Tweet others the way you want to be tweeted,” putting a contemporary twist on Jesus’ injunction.
In that commandment, Jesus had said that we should treat others as we would like to be treated. Some refer to it as the Golden rule. For all I know, it might be the only law in the Bible. Particularly when you think of the few people to whom the Bible refers as friends of God. Each of them appreciated that a real friend is not a commodity.
Think of the man Moses for instance. He treated God with the same respect with which he wanted God to treat him. And the Bible records that God would consequently speak with him face to face. God regarded him as His friend and hence gave Moses a foretaste of Heaven, when we shall see God face to face.
Because Moses became friends with God, God promoted him. Everybody, even members of his earthly family, must give Moses the type of respect that was due to God. And anyone who did not duly respect Moses was sure to receive a tongue lashing from God – his friend. “Why then were you not afraid to speak against My servant Moses?”
Do Unto God As You Want Him To Do To You.
Unfortunately, most believers want God to befriend then but are not willing to reciprocate. They don’t treat God the way they want God to treat them. Thinking that the golden rule applies only to those on earth, they fail to accede to God’s requests. And then they wonder why God does not accede to the petitions that they make to Him.
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Nevertheless, the bible is full of the concept of doing to God what you want Him to do to you. It is a book of conditions. Definitely, God wants to be our friend. But He needs us to appreciate that a real friend is not a commodity. He is our Father, not a father Christmas that you pay to hug.
You find the concept in Jesus’ statement “If you honor me before men, I will honor you before my father.” If you draw near to me, I will draw near to you, God admonishes. In another passage, Jesus says that only as we abide in Him can He abide in us. Do you suppose God is able to give you a frontal hug when you give Him a side hug?
Time Investment Shows A Real Friend Is Not A Commodity
Secondly, a friendship can only be realized after many days and years. For instance, Abraham did not become a friend of God in their first encounter. It was not until after several years of interaction that Abraham was referred to as a friend of God. A willingness to invest time into a relationship shows that we realize that a real friend is not a commodity.
Similarly, Jesus did not start to refer to His disciples as friends until much later in their relationship. Towards the end of His earthly ministry, He told them they were now friends, no longer servants.
He also promised – to His friends – that He would show them the things He had heard from His father. That’s real! friendship. Jesus knew that a real friend is not a commodity that you can have on day one. A servant? Yes, but most definitely, not a friend.
Am I willing to spend the time with God that will make me His friend? Are you? It is a hard question but a necessary one. Because only His friends will see Him face to face. One day soon
Maranatha!